Running through my mind

Don't know how to say the words out loud,
so I write them all down.
Thoughts, feelings, dreams,
all recorded here.
Hiding sometimes,
clear in other places.

The summer is coming quickly,
school went by too fast.
So much changed,
and I don't know who I am now.
Writer, insomniac, and utterly confused,
so many things are new.

Worried about going there again,
worried about the memories left there.
Things I want to forget,
but so many things I need to do.
They hide there,
they're not clear here.

Images I don't want to see,
haunt me in my dreams.
Fight sleep just to escape
the coming nightmare.
Drown out thoughts
with loud lyrics.

A smile, a laugh,
hardly seems fair now.
Life goes on,
even without you here.
The sun comes up, the sun goes down,
and I'm still standing.

Lifeboat

I'm just going to post a poem I wrote just a few minutes ago. It's one of the most personal things I've written, and I've written a lot of personal things. That's all I'm going to say, so here's 'Lifeboat'.

Lifeboat

There was so much

love in her heart,

the girl who

was sick.

Nineteen,

young but old.

So blessed,

even when

hard times came.

A contagious smile,

a beautiful personality.

Such a hard worker,

accepting life as it is.

Watching her strength drain,

the fight end,

forever in my mind.

Tears and silent prayers,

then and now.

Seeing her motionless,

like seeing a

candle blown out.

The candle is still there,

but the flame

is no longer visible.

Sitting in Heaven,

she sees us down here.

Memories pop up everywhere;

a song, a room, a picture,

always fresh tears.

Time goes on,

we're clinging to

the promise

of seeing that smile

the day we join her.

Happy Birthday, Mom!!!

Yep. Today is my mom's birthday. In my opinion, she got some pretty awesome gifts. None of them from me, my sisters, or my dad. The first gift, is that this morning, we discover that there are robin's (my mom's favorite bird) making a nest in our tree. The only other time that we've ever had a nest in our tree is when Kelly put her hair out after she lost it when she was seven. Then, when she takes my dad to work, she sees a rainbow. When she's coming back, she realizes it isn't really a rainbow, but just a patch in the sky of rainbow colors. She loved it. Later, she was talking to Marcy on the phone. I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth and getting ready for the day, and I hear 'Rose! Rose, come here! You have to see this!' coming from the kitchen. With a sigh, I put my things away and slowly go out to the kitchen, expecting just another robin or something. Instead, she points out a baby bunny sitting in the middle of our back yard. We watch it from our kitchen window for a while, and then at Marcy's request, I go outside to take some pictures. It sits incredible still for a few minutes as it watches me as I lift the camera to take a picture. Soon, it decides I'm not going to hurt it, and it just goes about it's business. That was at 10 this morning. As I'm writing this, he's still in our back yard, sitting in front of our shed, eating dandelions. Amazing, right? He let me get incredibly close to him to take pictures, and me and my mom were both thrilled. So we sat outside for about two hours (I'm not even kidding. I took, like, fifty pictures of him.) and just watched him dart in and out of our shed as he ate a little. As we're watching him, we hear a bird song that sounds really cool. So we look up, and sitting on a pole right near us is a dove. To top it all off, it's really really nice out. I don't think we could have asked for a better day. So, happy birthday Mom.

Quite annoying actually.

This is just a quick note to apologize for not posting in forever. I've been..not sleeping. So, I'm a little brain-dead, but working on getting a regular schedule again, and then, I can promise I will post more regularly!!!!! Yeah..so...school is winding down! Yay! It's almost done with, thank goodness. I'm so ready for nice weather, sleeping in, and the lazy summer days. Oh, and after school is done, I get to go see Marcy, Travis, Gavin, and Nate!!! Whoo hoo!!! Definitely looking forward to that. So, yeah..I'm gonna go try to sleep now. =) Have a great rest of the week!!!
Peace
Sam

WHAT?!?

-sigh- I am sad to say that I just found out the final episode of the season, of the best show ever, The Office, is next week. It was off for a really long time because of the writer's strike, and it seems like it's barely been going on again. However, I'm extremely excited to find out what's going to happen. I really hope that Jim will propose to Pam...because that would be awesome. (If you've never watched the show, you should. Right now.) Anyway, I guess I'll just have to wait for next week.
Ahhhhh...my library won't be getting The Host until sometime next week, which is an incredibly long time to wait (for me, at least.) so I decided to just buy the book instead. How convenient is it that I'll be in the city (which has a book store, thank goodness.) tomorrow? I don't think I could wait any longer to read The Host. It's just too bad that Stephenie won't be coming anywhere near me during her tour. =( Speaking of Stephenie and her wonderfulness, I was so excited when the official Twilight teaser trailer was released this week!!!! May I just say that it's absolutely awesome? Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart are perfect for Edward and Bella. I have no doubts about them at all. It's amazing how a single minute of movie footage can convince me that this movie will be perfect. (You can view the trailer here.)
Peace
Sam

New Moon Quotes

So, I'm reading New Moon for the second time, and these books are filled with awesome quotes. So I thought I would share some of my favorites. =) (Let me warn you though, some of these quotes could possibly give away story lines, if you're planning on reading the book. And, yes, I do realize that most of them are from Bella. But the book is from her perspective.)

(I'm not quite sure what I love so much about this first quote, but there's just something about it that I really like.)

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. -Bella

"We watched zombies eat people. It was great." -Bella

Only a teenage boy would agree to this: deceiving both our parents while repairing dangerous vehicles using money meant for my college education. He didn't see anything wrong with that picture. Jacob was a gift from the gods. -Bella

"Five foot four is perfect average....It's not my fault you're a freak." -Bella

"I'm in the mood for action. Bring on the blood and guts!" -Bella

"No. I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence." -Jacob Black

Yep. There you have it. Some of my favorite quotes.
Peace
Sam

-sigh- Still waiting

So..my last day of school, is May 30th. I don't get to see Marcy, Travis, and the boys again until June. Breaking Dawn comes out in August. The Host comes out May sixth. Psych (one of the best TV shows ever) doesn't start up again until July 18th. I'm just hoping that May will go by quickly. I'm ready for summer and camping trips, and I'm really ready to go see my nephews!!
There isn't anything very exciting going on right now. We're still working on painting my room. I can't even sleep in there right now, because of all the paint fumes. But I believe it's going to look pretty awesome once we've completed it.
Yep..that's pretty much it. I'm just waiting. (not very patiently at times, I must say.)
I know I've talked, and talked, (and talked some more) about the Twilight saga, and The Host, but I don't think I've ever actually posted a link to where you can read more about the books, and the upcoming Twilight movie. So..if you would like to read further in to them, you can just go here. That's Stephenie's official website, where it's got all the info. (A great fan site is the twilight lexicon. They are awesome at keeping everyone up to date! You can check them out here. )
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Peace
Sam